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Meet the Pastors

AR met two of my spiritual fathers at church yesterday. The pastors have markedly different personalities and naturally my relationships with them are different. First, I was happy to know that one father will be in NYC at the same time as I and he, his family and I will attend service and eat together in the city. I hope my family can eat with us too. Second, I've been aware of my own problems with authority, particularly with my other spiritual father and needing his approval -- or judgment(!?), and my anxiousness around him was unfortunately strange and palpable to me yesterday. But I'm assured the Spirit of God is at work in transforming me to fear the Lord and no man. Third, I realize my other spiritual father's wife has a very different personality and a conducive personality to me and AR. Talking to her for an extended period of time was pleasurable and, thank God, makes me understand her and my spiritual father's complementary personalities.
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The Narrow Gate and Uniqueness

““Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭7:13-14‬ ‭NIV‬‬
The background to this revelation: I am trying to reduce a 16,000 word draft into a 6,000 word final report. I realize my strengths in nuance, creativity and complexity are also my weaknesses in conciseness, being esoteric and obscure, and my possessiveness of nuance: how could I lop off any of my little ideas and details; that’s like asking me to eat my children! Besides, being fastidious with nuance and being esoteric and obscure make me unique, realizing my central tendency.
The case in point for my central tendency: I recalled many years ago being in the car with my father and brother, complaining about my neighbor, who seemed at the time to be copying every stylistic and behavioral detail from me. My…

Lucky Clover Relay 2018

Our team came in second overall. Thank God. Not getting first was disappointing for a moment but given the hot conditions, and that my teammates ran a 30K race the previous day, second is very reasonable and a fine accomplishment!
Maybe we could have won had we switched our running order so that the teammate who was most prone to heat cramps would run first in the coolest part of the morning. Another consideration would be reordering runners based on technical and physical strengths, as one of our teammate had considered in proposing our original running order.
However  the gimmick of this race, besides the four different loops, is the random draw of the first loop, determined by role of dice 15 minutes before start. Our team ordered itself based on a North start but East came up first. However, we didn’t change our running order when we had the chance. 
I was originally scheduled to run the East loop as the second runner, and I ended up still the second runner, but for the South …

Running and Living in Hong Kong

My running is a proxy for my life. Just as I have had a fruitful and full running life, so my life has been fruitful and full — and exciting! At the same time, just as I struggle to find meaning in running and to keep running, so I increasingly question my life’s meaning, forgetting its divine purpose, and unfortunately struggle to keep living, specifically, to not be indifferent to living or dying. Goal orientation is not my way to run or to live sustainably, I realize. By God’s grace, I realize the humility demanded by the Lord to continue, to run, and to live. To keep doing anything requires humility for me these days.

A final thought, maybe Hong Kong is associated with this weariness of living and running — I already adopt an ecological view that my unhealthy behaviors are not least influenced by being in an unhealthy physical, socio-cultural environment in the long-term; Hong Kong is an extreme place, with extreme competition and performativity, riches and poverty, and crowds a…

Spartan Race 2018

5 hours, 25 minutes for an 8-kilometer course, from 09:55 to around 15:20.
The length of time to complete was not what I had expected given that I had finished the course last year in about 90 minutes. During the race, sans watch, I had no idea my team had been out for so long. Were I to run this exact race again, I would have taken more water and put on sunblock all over my upper body  — thank God for cloud cover for most of the day.
06:50 wakeup for a 08:00 meet up in Tin Shui Wai MTR station. We arrived and queued up around 08:20 and arrived about 25 minutes later — the venue is far away! We started in one of the mini-waves for the 09:45 heat as one of our teammates woke up and arrived late. I’m thankful we didn’t wait any longer because I would have grown weak waiting around in the sun any longer. I tripled deuced — one at home and two at venue — not least because I was waiting around with nothing to do. 
The course was new, in Tin Shui Wai, and featured beautiful design eleme…

Heaven is for Real

My great unknown, and at worst, fear, is that the kingdom of heaven is not an object but a subjective experience, a human condition, for which reason there is more metaphorical description of heaven than physical description, specifically of its technology, space, and time. What am I being saved into? What exactly did I sign up for? Realizing heaven, or the kingdom if synonymous, takes great faith. Father, I humble myself before you. Teach me and use me to realize and to know your kingdom reality, from here to eternity, in Jesus’ name. 
What are we being resurrected into? What are other religions’ views on the resurrection of the dead and why resurrection exists?  The Spirit speaks to me that what awaits may be irrelevant for me. Praise God.
“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not b…

True Repentance

“yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” ‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭7:9-10‬ ‭NIV‬‬
With sackcloth, ashes and dust.
What is true repentance? Maybe when the Lord tells me the time for my marriage, this would truly be the milestone of repentance, for all my wandering behaviors, values and conditions. (Another milestone has been to obey and trust God to start dating; and He has answered my prayer for an active and fruitful dating life. Praise God.) I would be set on the path to even greater and sustainable fidelity, not least overcoming my fears of — or accepting — a grinding marriage without novelty, sensation and excitement. I would be all in to live for someone else, regardless of how her lifestyle develops.…