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Some Sober Thoughts and Feelings about OC

Your friendship cannot survive recontextualization. Your friendship is one dimensional. You have bonded when doing physical activity together; and you bonded when she faced overwhelming emotional problems. Neither exists these days. She is busy and you are a lower priority.

You have a tendency to be attracted to the unattainable. Your stress comes out and you become clingy. While you have gotten rid of the messenger, your constant checking is clingy, stressful behavior to you and to her. She pulls away. She is unattainable.

She is a highly successful lawyer and takes part in many recreational activities. She went to a good school, was a highly successful student and is practical and self-aware. She had a curious family history. She says she likes to get out of her comfort zone. She pushes herself too hard, not just physically, and gets injured as a result. She is likely a loyalist.

De-friend and don't look back. If you see her again, you don't know her.

You need a woman who dr…
Recent posts

First Surgery

My first time under the knife. About 30 minutes. In at 09:15 and out before noon.

Lump in right inner thigh removed. Actually, I was recommended to have another lump in my left thigh removed too but the surgeon recommended only one, because he never recommends turning someone under the knife, which greatly increases risk of infection. He also said the lumps were most likely benign and would not inhibit physical performance if left in place. He added people only got lumps removed for psychological confidence reasons, or if they were growing rapidly large or painful. I followed the doctor's first instinct when he marked my right thigh and committed to a surgery because, even if I could live with my lumps, I had scheduled my life around this surgery and expected to carry through!

Local anaesthesia. Nonetheless, I could feel the pinching, pressing, and especially the pulling of the lump from my muscles! Ouch. The doctor and I laughed aloud during the operation because the human body i…

Running and Personality

“and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.”
‭‭1 Thessalonians‬ ‭4:11-12‬ ‭NIV‬‬

God is amazing to realize this in my running. What a contrast my disciplined, principled, reliable and cold-blooded running is to the rest of my life.

I think about even last night, when a young man approached me out of respect, because, although he is absolutely faster than I, he cannot do two things that I regularly do: run a negative split during the workout; and come over the shoulder to pass even the fastest runners in the second half of a workout. Our encounter together is an opportunity for me to praise God aloud and thank The Lord in front of these men for His grace and gifts.

In running, God provided a container for all my emotional variance and personality intensity,…

Boot Camp First

Last night for the first time I extensively led the boot camp. We usually break the large group into smaller groups, and since we were short of instructors, the lead instructor chose me to lead one group, perhaps because I am by far the fastest person at camp and am familiar with the routines. Mine was the fastest group, and we first split ourselves into two smaller groups first for hill sprints, five sets, but ultimately four as we were taking our good time. Nonetheless, our hill sprints and active recovery were relentless. My group was pooped. Managing two groups and leading by example were so fun I could shout lots of encouraging words, thank God. No angry shouting. People reap what they sow.

The layer of complexity for our second group task was coordinating to meet up as one with the other group. My group trained as one on the tower for five minutes ideally and then could run over to the Kennedy Road gas station for whole groups sprints. The lead instructor left the option for som…

4 Trails Mini -- Wilson Trail 2017

An unexpected first overall. Nine minutes clear of second place.

This race is for OC. We were supposed to run together, for which reason I found this race. She's injured now, and I feel sad. I would rather her not be injured, and we run together, than I win. Her health and well-being matters more to me than my running. God willing, I'd like to surprise her tonight with some flowers, to cheer her up.

My goal was to win this race for her. I would not be denied.

Not much competition, namely, foreigners, at this race. I saw one of my nemeses at the start. He has some wheels on the road, but not necessarily on the trail. At the start, he took the lead, and I followed him for a few kilometers, until he gassed around Cloudy Hill. I shouted at him a few times to keep going, but weakness is as weakness does; he was done. I went by him and was alone for the rest of the race. Cold-blooded strategy.

I have won on this course before. My first and only king of the hills victory was at Tai P…


because Herod feared John and protected him, knowing him to be a righteous and holy man. When Herod heard John, he was greatly puzzled; yet he liked to listen to him.

Curiously, even after my battle with the Jezebel spirit in my workplace, on the home front, I had thought positively about my relationship with my landlord as that between Herod and John. My landlord opens up to me more than he opens up to his wife, and he allows me to influence him, by God's grace. What's more, this week, he asked me if his daughter should become Catholic, I shared my views, and then he blessed my intention to talk to his daughter about Jesus. In the same way that I have become godfather to my friends' children, so I have become godfather to my landlord's daughter. Praise God. The Spirit of God goes through children. I will wait and listen to the Lord, and then act -- just as I pray I shall do the same to pursue OC.

For mid-autumn festival, my two Single Life friends and I had a spontane…

Enneagrams and the Secret Life

Well, God love and cares for me. This week, He's been changing my heart, showing me how He sees me, how others see me, and how I see myself.

A quick testimony about friendship and intimacy: thank God for friends, and that God gave us choice for friends! God uses friends to amaze us and to show how our love is greater than that between a man and a woman. God has used two friends to send me the Daring Greatly book within a month of each other, unsolicited, without my knowing. And even two days ago, I had purchased the Gift of Self Forgetfulness, unsolicited, when I later found out my friend two weeks ago had recommended the book to me in an email, which I didn't read thoroughly! To be sure, friends converge, and can do so without verbal communication: another test of intimacy is people being able to find one another once physically separated and without communication. My friend and I were put to this test at the end of the New Balance Bronx 10-mile two weeks ago, and my younger …