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Boot Camp Mourning

Well, I felt simultaneously angry and sad. I was angry and sad at our society's injustice. God have mercy on us. Please forgive us in Hong Kong.

A woman at bootcamp today fell running downhill. Besides the scrape on her elbow, and especially given her knee pain and the injurious activity, I worried about ligament damage. Catastrophic ACL or MCL damage.

I went into the sports center to ask staff for help. Maybe someone knows first aid or has experienced managing a situation like this. I went to the counter staff and asked if anyone knows first aid. One of the two counter ladies asked what happened. I said a woman PK'd on a hill outside. How far, the other asked. 100 meters, I said. Too far, she said flippantly.

Wow, I was angry. When they saw my angry expression, they resigned themselves with mumbles and grunts to do something, I think. But I no longer trusted them and told them I would handle the matter myself. I forget if I told them explicitly that they didn't care. I ma…
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Post-Single Life 3

Lord, please teach me about romance, for your glory, in Jesus name. And I bless my spirit to connect with Holy Spirit to receive romance.

Except for the song of Solomon, I do not see romance in any relationship in the Bible. I see romance as a fairly recent and humbling subjectivity in human history, alongside the emergence of dating. I see romance as highly contextual, on a person by person basis; and at its worst, romance can be a crushing expectation. Romance can be weaponized, particularly when a woman fantasizes: Korean dramas and Hollywood can be dangerous to building enduring and deep relationships.

Romance has been conflated with love, when love, and intimacy, can coexist without romance. Marriages exist without romance.

I know very little about romance. I think I have some capacity within me, when I think about letters and flowers to AT, last year. I think about opportunities to grab people's hands, and the times when women have grabbed my hand.

Finally, last night God bl…

Post-Single Life 2

From 1 Corinthians 3:

18 Do not deceive yourselves. If any of you think you are wise by the standards of this age, you should become “fools” so that you may become wise. 19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written: “He catches the wise in their craftiness”[a]; 20 and again, “The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile.”[b]

Paul speaks in the context of church leadership; and I experience this verse in the broader context of building intimacy with people.

The woman that I miraculously met at the Single Life retreat told me at brekkie yesterday that she'd prefer for us to meet in a group. That hurt in two ways; a minor way was rejection; a major way was that I lost trust for her, because I think her intent was politeness, not honesty! I had been the only one organizing group events for our Single Life groups after the retreat and they are not well-attended, even by her. We don't have common group membership in our church. I had bee…

Post-Single Life 1

Dear God,
Thank you for who you are, and for blessing my spirit to connect with your spirit to lead my body and soul in Jesus Christ. I know you have also blessed those around me in the same way this past weekend.

Thank you for answering prayers and providing the desires of my heart. You surprise me so much with your love and you've grown my capacity to be loved.

You provided that intimate, milestone moment with the men in my small group. You also provided the humor to retell it. You reassured me through these brothers about what I find attractive about my wife, not least, her strong personality, including her boldness and courageousness.

Thank you for blessing EN, and for the opportunity for my small group and especially our men to meet her. Thank you, God, for divine appointments and the opportunity to spend three hours with this woman yesterday, when you had only made us aware of each other less than 24 hours earlier. She's a woman on the way, and Lord, please continue to b…

Reassurance of God's Presence

The Spirit of the Lord reassures me with his presence: last night, after a run, by reminding me of how even this year, with all the suffering, the Lord used me to bless me and to bless the people around me. Suffering was worth the effort.

Today, after lunch, the caring restaurant manager who has seen my physical suffering used a name of God in talking about provision for us. I was careful, because one name of God in Chinese does not imply Jesus and since the restaurant is filled with idols, I repeated what he said with the name of Jesus.

 Afterwards, the Lord reminded me that the name of Jesus is the name above every name: his name saves: the Chinese care about saving and carrying on their names, and only Jesus can save, or carry, their names; we cannot; but ultimately, with the name of Jesus, who cares about our own names!?

What the Lord does and how He speaks, these I treasure and ponder in my heart.

Elijah

Elijah was a man of like passions with us...
God offends the mind to reveal the heart. How He reveals my heart and His heart this year. Praise God.
Elijah and I are the same man: grossly imperfect and grossly authentic.
He is exhausted from facing persecution in his murderous workplace.
The jezebel spirit in the workplace and on the head of the workplace.
He wants to die. I also long for eternity, a better place than this.
We are in the wilderness. My full time study at HKU was the brook; and my workplace is Sidon. The most enemy territory. The heartland of darkness.
God greatly, incredibly honors Elijah, from this life into the next by Elijah's extended inclusion in the book of Kings. his meeting with Jesus, and his inclusion in the hall of faith. God brings Elijah a successor with double portion. God completes His vengeance on His enemies.
God honors Elijah and me with His spirit and still small voice. God is so gentle with us.
God faithfully consoles and comforts Elijah…

Single Life Accountability Again

Thank you for your care and support these years and especially these months. How good and pleasing it is when brothers live together in unity. God has so many good words for us.

God blessed me with the most sleep in a night in weeks; and a delightful boot camp this morning.

Three milestones this week:

1) My house church leader supports my move from the church and I appreciate her reassurance. I'm waiting on the Lord for any further word on this move; and His word is relief, because there is already too much to think about in my life.

2) I completed a 1,500 word abstract for my PhD dissertation and my external examiner may likely be my future employer -- and he's a Christian man too. That's good. I feel more motivated to finish my job application ASAP. Thank God.

3) I believe the Holy Spirit has spoken to me about the jezebel spirit in my school and particularly on my school principal. I'm waiting on the Lord about any action to take against this spirit, in the sch…