Clear Guidance

No joke. After a rough evening marked by a pushed bedtime and a homosexual ambush in my dreams, I was taken to a deeper level with my Father today. God is so good.

This morning was different, not least because of the vision God gave me concerning my future place in the education system. In general, I was very sensitive in the Spirit, on the verge of tears because struggle mixed with joy. Like yesterday, today I prayed in tongues lots.

The dating and the girls bothered me greatly.

I was so bothered that I asked a sister to pray with me about this matter. And no sooner had this pact been made then God really began speaking to me about who I am and what my needs are.

This downloading happened in the middle of a date. I these days had been seeing this friend and had been troubled greatly because, at last, I realized I neither had to nor wanted to enter into a relationship with her because she was pursuing and was open to me. Today God spoke to me clearly that she was not the best choice. I realized she doesn't really care too much about what I have to say. In fact, I cannot open up to her, even, and share today's surpassingly great revelations because she does not seem even remotely interested in my superficial tastes, preferences amd experiences. I want to be with someone who gladly hears and receives both the shallow and the deep of my life. (I also recall this same spiritual discomfort while speaking with my former accountability brother who also could not convey a sense of genuine caring about my concerns.) It appeared she was concerned less about hearing me out than waxing superficially. I praise God because I know I should start to stay away from her.

Of course I have to maintain my boundary and discontinue our activity or drive it alongside people I trust, namely, my brother. I need to watch what I say so I do not continue to date her in this way, if I date her at all.